Out Of Reach
by Scattia
Summary: Steph writes a letter to Hunter after he ends their marriage


Dear Hunter,

_Hi everyone!! Yet another Steph/Hunter one from me – what is the world coming to, huh??? Anyway, the lyrics are from the song "Out Of Reach" (hence the title) sung by Gabrielle and is on the soundtrack of the excellently brill film "Bridget Jones's Diary". I think the only thing left to say is lyrics are shown by // and feedback is very much welcome!!!!_

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Dear Hunter,

I heard a song on the radio today, it reminded me of you. Of us. Or at least, what I thought was us. In fact, it pretty much summed up our sham of a marriage.

I know we agreed at the beginning that it was only a business deal but I thought it had grown to be so much more then that. Last Monday, when you said you had something important to tell me, I wasn't expecting that; a new house maybe, for us to try for kids again quite likely, but never what you said to me. That we, _us_, was over. For good.

I've spent the past week going over and over again in my mind the last few months in an attempt to pinpoint where it all went wrong, what I did that was so wrong that it made you stop loving me. And then the other day it hit me, it wasn't that you had stopped loving me, it was that you never had to begin with. 

//Knew the signs  
Wasn't right  
I was stupid for a while  
Swept away by you  
And now I feel like a fool  
So confused,  
My heart's bruised  
Was I ever loved by you?//

I feel so stupid, I should have realised ages ago that I meant nothing to you, that all the love there was in our marriage was one-sided. But I honestly thought you loved me and that the flowers, the gifts, the jewellery, that they were all tokens of your love, not an insurance policy to make sure that you had at least a quarter of the McMahon power behind you. Why did you let me believe that you loved me Hunter if it wasn't true? 

//Out of reach, so far  
I never had your heart  
Out of reach,  
Couldn't see  
We were never  
Meant to be//

You said that you had never meant to hurt me, that if you had known how deep my feelings were you would have ended it a long time ago. You said and I quote, that our marriage was "fun while it lasted" but it was "getting a bit old". I know that words aren't your speciality, but that hurt Hunter, that hurt. Surely there was a kinder way of telling me you had decided that I was like an old toy you had gotten bored of and had thrown to the side; why the heck didn't you just say that, you would have given the same meaning.

The really pathetic thing though is that I can't blame you for ending it. As you pointed out, both of us had agreed that this was never going to be a permanent thing, it was always going to end one day, I just never guessed that you would hold me to it. I thought that after making it through a year, after beating all the obstacles in our path, we would last forever. But then, I've been wrong about many things. After all, I was wrong about you loving me, wasn't I?

//So much hurt,  
So much pain  
Takes a while  
To regain  
What is lost inside  
And I hope that in time,  
You'll be out of my mind  
And I'll be over you//

But whatever, you know I never wrote this letter to have a go at you, to sling some more insults in there, I think we both did enough of that Monday night. I just wanted you to know that I am alright, I haven't tried to commit suicide or anything so there's no need to send your minions round everyday to check up on me. Yeah, I know it's you who sent Edge and Christian round to try and cheer me up. But believe it or not Hunter, you are get-overable to quote them two and I've realised that life does go on without you. Admittedly, in a very painful way at the moment, but that pain will go away eventually, hopefully.

//Catch myself  
From despair  
I could drown  
If I stay here  
Keeping busy everyday  
I know I will be OK//

Yeah, it hurts like hell at the moment but I know life goes on, I know that eventually it'll all end. Look at Andrew, after all the moping around he did after me he sure seems to have been able to pick back up the pieces of his life pretty quickly. But maybe that's because he didn't love me too, maybe he, like you, was just after my money and power. Maybe I'm just unlovable and that's why all of this is happening. Maybe I'll never have someone love me the way I want to be loved.

But I have to stop thinking like this, he wasn't worthy of my love and neither are you. In fact, no man is worth me moping over like it's the end of the earth. That's why tonight, I'm gonna take the first step in piecing my life back together. That's the real purpose of this letter, to let you know that I'm going to be at Smackdown tonight accompanying Edge and Christian. I thought that maybe I better let you know so it wouldn't come as a complete shock to see your soon-to-be-ex wife wandering around backstage instead of at home with her Daddy, crying her eyes out. 

//Out of reach,  
So far  
You never gave your heart  
In my reach, I can see  
There's a life out there  
For me//

Maybe, just maybe, when all the pain has gone and all the rumours and speculation has disappeared we can be friends again, even partners in crime every once in a while. After all, what's the point in being a bad girl if I haven't got anyone to be bad with? You know, that whatever happens in the future, whoever we both end up with, I will always have a place for you in the corner of my heart no matter what. I just need time at the moment, but eventually the fun-loving Stephanie you adored, even if you didn't love her, will return. Just give me time Hunter.

All my best,

Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley

Stephanie McMahon


End file.
